The Unforgettable Hamster Incident: A Birthday Tale of Stig Ren

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Life has a way of throwing the most unexpected surprises our way, and for my long time friend Stig, one of those surprises happened a few years before I met him, on his 6th birthday. Stig’s life has been nothing short of extraordinary, filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears. Today, I’d like to share an unforgettable story from his childhood that still makes us chuckle and shudder in equal measure. Buckle up and join me as I drag you down memory lane.

My friend Stig’s life has been an epic one. His mom and dad sent him to live with his grandma unofficially when they went on a cruise to Mexico and failed to tell anyone when they got home. His gran was more of a mom to him and, by extension of Stig, me. His parents only attempted to parent during birthdays and Christmas and even then, it was half-hearted and possibly mean-spirited attempts to remind him that he was an unwanted child. Hold on tight, Stig’s 6th birthday present was one such half-baked parental moment that his parents were infamous for.

Stig's parents were wealthy by the standards of residents in Milton and Pace, Florida, but they were stingy unless there was something in it for their benefit. So Stig always got second-best or no-effort gifts from his parents. His Gran, on the other hand, while not wealthy, did better for him. They were known for their half-hearted attempts at parenting, often leaving him in the care of his loving Gran while they pursued their own adventures. Unfortunately, their selfishness and disregard for Stig's well-being went beyond mere neglect. They prioritized their own desires, frequently embarking on lavish vacations and social gatherings, leaving Stig behind with little more than a passing thought.

On Stig's 6th birthday, his parents decided to make one of their rare gestures of "affection." They picked up a bright yellow plastic cage, some wood shavings, hamster food, and the biggest, fattest hamster they could find at TG&Y in Milton. Along with this peculiar gift came carrot cake cupcakes from the Delchamps a few doors down from the TG&Y. Bear in mind, Carrot Cake is NOT something you get for a kid's birthday and in this case, they were also dangerous—since Stig was highly allergic to nuts, and the cake contains walnuts. It was a clear sign of their thoughtlessness, lack of care and evilness.

When Stig got home and saw the hamster in the cage, he screamed like a girl, terrified by the sight. Mice, rats, and anything that resembled them sent shivers down his spine. Gran, ever the caring figure, promised they would find the little critter a new home. That night, Stig tried to muster the courage to bond with the hamster, thinking that as an unwanted child himself, they might have something in common. But as fate would have it, the hamster bit him, drawing blood and leaving him in tears.

Gran rushed to his side, as he held his bloody finger and crying. She asked Stig what he fed the little guy as she noticed something unusual in the cage—the hamster was munching on something. To their horror, they realized that the hamster had given birth and, much like Stig’s own mother, lacked any maternal instincts. The hamster had killed her litter and was eating them. Gran quickly disposed of the remains, sparing Stig from further trauma.

Years later, Gran revealed the full story over dinner at Red Lobster. Instead of disposing of the cannibalistic mama hamster, she had returned to TG&Y and bought not one, but fourteen more hamsters. With Stig's parents away on another vacation, Gran released the hamsters throughout their house, turning it into a rodent playground.

When Stig's parents returned three weeks later, they were greeted by chaos. Boxes of food in the pantry and cabinets were chewed open, leaving a trail of crumbs, debris and poop. Cords to their TVs, stereo, appliances, and even their beloved waterbed heater were gnawed through, rendering many of their electronics useless. The hamsters had burrowed into the sofa cushions, leaving small nests of shredded fabric and stuffing. In the game room, Stig's dad’s prized pool table had been infiltrated, with one of the hamsters making a cozy nest in one of the pockets and the innards of the table full of collected food and the ball return with droppings. They even found hamster droppings in their shoes and closets, evidence of their extensive exploration.

The house reeked of rodent activity, with chewed-up papers and books scattered around, and small teeth marks on the legs of furniture. Stig's parents never figured out that it all started with their ill-conceived gift to their son. This incident was a turning point for Stig, teaching him that love and care come from those who genuinely value you, like his Gran, rather than those who are supposed to by default.

To this day, Stig avoids small animals, though he adores cats and dogs. He often reflects on that birthday, not with bitterness, but with gratitude for his Gran's unwavering love and support.

Thanks for joining me on this wild ride through Stig’s 6th birthday adventure. Have you ever experienced a gift-gone-wrong moment or a memorable birthday tale? Share your stories in the comments below! And if you enjoyed this story, consider supporting the blog—every little bit helps me continue sharing these amazing tales. Here's to more unforgettable moments and the lessons we learn from them.


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