Collecting music...is it really so bad?

If you know anything about me, you know I'm way into collecting music. I have thousands of CDs that I've collected since I received my very first back in 1991, Michael Jackson's Dangerous. This wasn't the beginning of my music collecting days though...45's & tapes filled bins in my room. I think I only have 3 tapes and two or three 45's now...I have lots of LPs and a massive amount of CDs. I've been asked many times by those that have seen my collection if I have listened to them all. Honestly, the answer is no. Some of them I have no interest in and apparently no one else is interested since I can't sell them on half.com either. I've used some of those for parties and cross referencing for little projects I've done over the years, some I've used to educate a few people that had no clue in music theory. I've been told my collection is an OCD disorder called hoarding, I don't see myself as a hoarder...I like to think of myself as a self professed music historian. Though I'm known for my massive collections of showtunes and dance, I also have extensive knowledge in classic country, disco, pop, Eurodance aka Gay Disco and novelty tunes. I love introducing people to new music, there's something magical in watching someone's disinterest turn into an appreciation for something they probably would've never discovered on their own. I, at one time, ran my own net radio station, which had a huge following, but unfortunately as large of a following I had the operating costs didn't fare well with the revenue being generated by listeners...which was 0...I guess if I asked I could've gotten my listeners to support the cause through donations. I ended up shutting it down in the red because of the licensing costs...in plain English negative funds. I don't object to doing it again, just won't do it the same way...Hey, if there are any program directors looking for a killer showtune or gay disco show for your station...Hit Me Up!!!

The Manbag....

Most people that know me in real life know that I'm sort of a packrat, well a little more than sort of. Unfortunately, this OCD thing touches every aspect in my world. When I was younger, I had backpacks and lunchboxes to stash my shit but when I hit the streets in Atlanta and NYC back in 1992, backpacks seemed to always get a lot of attention from salespeople in stores. I found it best to downsize to the bare essentials so if I was asked to check my bag, they'd have no reason to question why I have so much shit. I learned quickly to never answer "I'm homeless and this is my stuff" to the staff of FAO Schwartz or Sam Goody, they don't like that. My standard response became I'm visiting my uncle, dad or something like that...it totally worked because of my southern accent was the kicker...this was before I learned to cover up the accent. Once I left NYC, I found it hard to part with "the essentials" and to this day, I carry stuff around with me as I did when I was homeless...though my carry all back is now known as my manbag. I have 4 manbags...1 is technically a laptop bag and 1 a laptop backpack. Have you ever noticed that when asked "What's in your bag?" most people won't say? In fact they will go out of their way to avoid futher conversation on the topic. What's in there? A Z pack prescription for an STD or something? People can be so touchy about petty stuff...It's just that...STUFF...SO what's in my manbag?

Contents:
Hand Sanitizer...Epi-Pen...Prep H Pads...Percocet...4 Color BIC Pen...Mechnical Pencil...Notebook...Out of Date Penny Press Word Search...Digital Camera...Battery Operated Fan...Creative Zen Touch MP3 Player(which I'd love to replace with an iPod)...Mini Mary Hanson Roberts Tarot Cards...Lighter....Leatherman Knife...Lip Smackers Lip Balm.

Yup I was once a Boy Scout...their motto was Be Prepared and that...I am.

Friday Nights At Aunt Joan's House

Way back when my sister and I were too young to stay home alone on the rare occasions my parents went out for the evening, we were dropped off at Aunt Joan's on their way to the Mobile Greyhound Park. Why my parent's dates always involved the dog track is beyond me but it was. I always looked forward to spending the night at my Aunt Joan's house. She knew exactly how to make sleepovers at her house special for me, it didn't take a whole lot to keep me entertained. As long as she had plenty of Coca Cola and potato chips for the night, I was set.
Around the time that we arrived at her house, Aunt Joan and her daughters were usually putting the finishing touches on dinner which usually involved fried chicken or pork chops along with fried okra or fried squash, cornbread or biscuits and fresh peas or beans from one of Joan's fields and a big glass of sweet tea. My mom's cooking was sketchy at best aside from 2 or 3 dishes she knew how to cook well, so Aunt Joan definitely filled the void in the food department and dinner was always fabulous country cooking.
Aunt Joan was and is still one of the most special people I've ever met simply because I could feel and see the unconditional love in her heart for her kids, siblings and their kids. Many times while I was growing up, I wished my mom could be more like Joan...especially when it came to cooking. We were definitely a close knit family back in the day and still would be had it not been for several unfortunate incidents involving unruly family members as well as former family members. I'll touch on a few of those stories, including holiday brawls, in the future.
After dinner up until dark, all us kids would either go hang out on the patio, enclosed by iron fencing and end up in the fields or jumping on the trampoline...since I was the smallest, jumping wasn't an option, I just got on and pretty much just got bounced and driveled by everyone else jumping. Pretty much we had the run of the 13 acres of fields except we weren't allowed to go near "The Branch" which was a swampy area filled with snakes and whatever else we didn't want to run into. Once it got dark, we'd all alternate bath time among the 2 bathrooms, I can still remember the smell of Aunt Joan's soap. I'm not sure what she used but the closest I've found is bars of Coast Pacific Force. Once we were all clean, we'd head to the den. My Aunt's house was a normal sized 3 bedroom ranch style house with a huge den built onto it. The house sat on a 13 or so acre plot of land. The den, kitchen, dining room were the only rooms that we spent our time in since the rest of the house were just bedrooms, bathrooms and a living room which Joan used as a sewing room. Back then, I had an aversion to being in the same room with a sewing machine so I din't want to go in there. Nowadays, if I see a sewing machine...I'm all about checking out it's features. I kind of wish I took an interest in Aunt Joan's sewing, since she did a lot of sewing and even made a lot of clothes for her daughters, it would've been a great learning experience.

Anyway the den was a large room with minimal light, a TV in the corner, fireplace, a huge console stereo and a Fun Machine Organ. We'd make pallets on the floor with blankets and pillows then play board games and watch TV with what seemed to be an endless supply of chips and soda. Much like everyone back in that day, we had a choice of 5 or 6 channels and we all knew that we needed to be done with our game by 8 on Friday evenings because Dallas was not to be missed. We all needed to see what JR's next move was and if Sue Ellen would last an episode without getting drunk. Sometime during the evening, Aunt Joan would bring out the pickles...OMG...I'm not a fan of sweet pickles but her bread and butter pickles are the absolute BEST pickles EVER. She grew her own vegetables and would preserve them by canning them and filling a small room ajoined to her laundry room with mason jars full of pickles, blackberry jelly and anything else that looked good in jars. I wasn't big on veggies back then but when I was at Aunt Joan's house, if it was edible, it was good. By the time 11pm rolled along, I was wound down and usually passed out watching TV. Whatever happened next was beyond me...except for 1 time when my cousin Lynda's hamster, Herman, escaped (probably with help from Lynda) from his habitrail cage and I woke up to my sister and cousins, Marie and Lynda trying to corral Herman. Whoever says that hamsters can't see beyond 6 inches in front of them never met Herman, he knew exactly where he was heading.
The next morning, I usually woke up to the smell of bacon or sausage and eggs which meant mom and dad would be picking us up within the hour which usually passed too quickly. When my mom would arrive, she'd rush my sister and I into the car and never once ask us how our night was...I guess she didn't want to hear how much more fun it was at Aunt Joan's house than at our own...Especially since our own nightly routine was about the same minus the den, soda, chips, good food, pickles and a rodent being let loose in the house.

My friend Stig's account of Clutterer's Anonymous

This is NOT my experience...enjoy Stig's world.


Hi my wonderful friends. I attended my first Clutterers Anonymous meeting. Oh my goodness I just do not know what to say about this organization. I thought I was in the middle of filming an episode of Antique Roadshow. The sign in sheet asked for our first name and our main items of clutter. Reading over the list felt as if I were reading Craigslist or classified ads. There was a lady that had used six lines to list her main items of clutter whereas I was able to fit my collections into one line and have space left for a few more items if I wanted to be more honest with the people. I am not one to gossip and I do not feel that it is appropriate to mention the goings on during a twelve step meeting outside of a group but I feel that Clutterers Anonymous is not as much of a self help group or meeting as much as it is a flea market or swap meet. As I read over the list I noticed the lady who had the massive listing had listed discarded cigarette packs within her clutter items. I smoke a few packs of Virginia Slim 100's a day and do not find this an item of interest. Several minutes before I entered the meeting I had noticed a lady that was digging through one of the outside trash cans and had been pulling out what I thought were pieces of paper. Once the meeting started I noticed the same lady was in the meeting and remained quiet throughout then I noticed that she kept staring at my chest. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that she was staring at my pack of Virginia Slim Menthol 100's in my pocket. Throughout the meeting people stood up and told stories of searching and answering classified and online ads such as Craigslist and Freecycle for their collections and as each person spoke I noticed that several people were taking notes as if they were compiling shopping lists. When it was my turn I stood and told everyone of my hobbies and my collections such as the trial size items, childhood Barbies and toys, replica vintage potholders and various crafts that I have made over the years and I ended with a description of my replica of Damien Hirst's Lullaby Spring. I noticed the cigarette lady licking her lips as I talked all the while staring at my chest. When I finished you could hear a pin drop. I just felt as if I did not belong, like I was some kind of freak or something. I do not understand how people that collect items that varied from empty tealights, burned out lightbulbs, dead batteries, crushed cigarette packages, toilet paper rolls, paper clips, pencil shavings, carpet samples, plastic grocery bags, broken drill bits, potato chip packages, dryer lint and old eyeshadow applicators could think that my collectables were something of a freakish nature. I was happy that I was the last person to speak because the second the meeting let out I wanted out the door. It took twenty minutes to get to the parking lot as I had been approached by many members of the group. They not once welcomed me to the group, each inquired regarding items in my collection and making offers. I smoked my last two Virginia Slims and no sooner than I walked away from the garbage can I turned to see the cigarette lady retreive the empty pack. I had to hail a cab to escape the urge to set myself ablaze and run down the street. I paid fifty-four dollars in total to make sure the cab driver circled my block and made figure eights around Los Angeles to make sure I was not being followed. I called my doctor this morning and he called in a prescription for xanax at the Rite Aid on Wilshire. I have been too scared to leave my condo today that I called out of work tonight and offered one of the clerks at the pharmacy a hundred dollars in cash to bring the xanax to my condo, unfortunately no one from the store would so I have taken a Valium and a Klonopin from my Lullaby Spring display. I hope I never run into any of those people in A.A., N.A. or S.A. Thank you for reading. Stig Ren.

VIDEO GAMES

Prior to 1981, I had no clue what a video game was, my sister would stand for hours in front of those giant Pac Man Machines in front of TG&Y, K-Mart or Roses and I had no clue what the concept of those machines were other than they drew her undivided attention to them, leaving me to my own devices trying to get free horoscopes out of the horoscope dispenser or gum out of the candy machines.

We got our first taste of home video games at my sister's friend Laura Moon's house with her Atari 2600 and Space Invaders. A few months later, we woke up Christmas morning 1982 to find that Santa had left us an Atari 2600 under the tree.

The Atari went straight to my sister's room since my parents just weren't interested in watching us play video games all the time or to be more exact, watch my sister play video games after I loose interest after I lost all my men 3 minutes into playing. We didn't have many games to choose from, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Asteroids and Space Invaders were pretty much our game collection at the time. Many years later, I got my Nintendo Entertainment System Complete with Super Mario Brothers and Castlevania.

Those were my all nighter games that I'd play until the system would throw up the screens of death that NES was so famous for.

Over the years, Terry had played PSOne & PS2 games like Silent Hill and Tomb Raider, those never really interested me. I'm a classic and board game freak. Give me a few minutes of Super Mario, Pole Position, Bubble Bobble, Uno, Wheel of Fortune and The Game of Life and I'm happy. We have a PSOne, PS2, GameCube with a Gameboy Player as well as my GBA SP and it seems that no matter how advanced systems get, I just can't abandon the classic concept. I've always found it a little odd though that the graphics on home video games are never the same as the arcade graphics no matter what system you're playing on. Even Ms. Pac-Man appeared slightly different. Since I'm not one to really care about covers, artwork or cases I found that gamestop and eb games has the perfect cheap selection for me...Disc only games for around $2.99. I've also found that eBay is great for cheap buys at a fraction of the cost of new selection. I've always been a huge pinball fan but unfortunately video pinball was never that great...Remember Pinball on Atari 2600?


It was a total different concept of pinball, not the smae at all. A few months ago, I discovered by accident Pinball Hall of Fame Gottleib Collection, I've never been a huge fan of Gottleib tables because their level of difficulty was not my thing, I like to refer to them as Take My Money Machines. After my Gottlieb purchase I found the super cool Pinball Hall of Fame Williams Collection...Now those are my tables...I was a huge fan of the Williams FIRE table back in my skating rink days, unfortunately it wasn't featured on the game but it has a few comperable tables as well as Pinbot. Pinbot was the table I used to play all night long on slow nights at the 9th Circle back when I was a hustler. The Williams Collection is like playing the real tables, aside from the limitations of the PS2 contoller the buttons aren't really in the best place but I found that I can compensate by holding the controller upside down so I can use my thumbs on the buttoms. Several people have referred me to PC emulators but unfortunatly I just can't get into PC games...I ususally feel like I have to be constuctive on some level while I'm in front of my PC...not that I was when I was obsessed with beating Terry on Cafe World and Farmville. So what's your favorite game?



My Idea of Heaven

Remembering Record Stores

Remember the concept of record stores? It seems most people have forgotten what it's like to flip through vinyl records or stare at walls of cassette tapes and browsing the CD long boxes during the time they were placed near the registers due to their higher value. I love a good record shop...before digital downloads, FYE, amazon and B&N overthrew the market we had Record Bar, Turtles, Peaches, Coconuts and the Mecca...TOWER RECORDS. 

During my younger years, my sister and I were only exposed to the latest hits via WABB 97.5 or a vinyl 45 from TG&Y or K-Mart. Our full length albums were usually whatever was on clearance or those wonderful K-Tel collections jam packed with the shorter than edited radio versions. Once in a while, my mom would drive my sister and I to the mall but our mall visit came with strings attached...LIMITED TIME. My sister would cover the metal and rap (or what they called rap back in the 80s), pop/rock and new releases quicker than anyone I'd ever met. Even before she had an actual job, my sister also always managed to have a little cash to buy a tape. I went for the 12" singles and the M (for Madonna) section of pop/rock and hope my mom would buy something for me before she dragged us down to JC Penny's if we were at University Mall or Montgomery Wards if we were fortunate enough to be at Cordova Mall. Vinyl became obsolete toward the end of my elementary school years but I preferred snap crackle pop over the cheap tape decks and players we had eating or mangling my favorite tunes.

Record stores have definitely changed over the years for sure. There was a time went you walked in and the staff consisted of 5 highly knowledgeable sales people and 2 managers that were just as knowledgeable at any given time, now you are lucky to find 2 sales people anytime and most of the knowledge is of current top 40 or whatever they are performing on American Idol. I walked into FYE a few weeks ago and a generic rap track was blasting from the speakers, I asked the sales guy if they had "Love Never Dies" on CD and he asked "Who it by?" assuming it was just a song. When I worked in music stores I knew what all the new releases were several weeks before their release dates and would've known that it was not a group but a cast recording. Fortunately, there are a few old timers that know they have a corner in the market for vinyl freaks like me. Here in Atlanta, we have Fantasyland Records, the only store that I make sure I'm wearing comfortable shoes to shop. The selection rivals 4 record superstores in the space equal to a mall store. My days are Fantasyland are usually all day affairs. Breakfast at Einstein Brothers, flipping through vinyl, lunch at McDonalds, flipping through more vinyl...Then off to meet Terry and we're on our way home. There really is something special about the feel and sound of vinyl that totally rocks my world and no matter how many CDs I collect, I usually end up with the vinyl version spinning on my turntable if by any chance I can get my hands on it.

Upgraded Electronics? REALLY?

I've always been a little ahead of the people I know in terms of gadgets and electronics or at least so I've been told. Over the past 30 years, we've seen TV's stereos, appliances, computers and game systems go from peices of furnature to pieces of plastic and aluminum that fit in the palm of your hand. With the changing of the times, it seems expectations regarding new gadgets move just as quickly. Some things I'm happy to upgrade but others I just can't abandon. If it were up to me, they'd still make Atari 2600 and Nintendo Entertainment Systems with all the classic games still in print.

Walkmans and Discmans would still be alive and well if mp3 players and iPods wouldn't have happened. A few weeks ago, I pulled out my Philips Touchscreen CD player and headphones from my manbag and a teenaged girl stared at me with her mouth open like I'd just popped an 8 track into a hifi...Have we really gone that far that even an advanced discman capable of having no buttons and playing mp3s is considered obsolete? I just can't bring myself to spend the money on an Apple Touch, even though I want one really badly and wouldn't complain if I were gifted one...I do love my Creative Zen Touch from 2004 which my nephew looked at in wonder and asked why is it so thick...My answer was because it has a 40gb hard drive like a computer. I only bought my Pink Gameboy Advance to replace my Purple Gameboy Color because I wanted to play classic NES Castlevania which I've never beat. Thanks to the burglers that broke into my house this past December, I had to upgrade my stolen Pink GBA to a GBA SP in blue...why didn't I get a DS Lite? Because I have GB, GB Color and GBA games and it seems that the DS is only capable of playing it's own games and those formatted for GBA...my favs are on GB and GB COlor. I've only upgraded my cell phone when my old one was either a few steps away from breaking in half or I sent it swimming in the washing machine with all the other items I didn't take the time to retrieve from the pockets of my pants and shirts. My current phone can play videos, mp3s, the radio and all kinds of crap but really I don't text, surf the net or send emails from my phone...I have a laptop and it's less frustrating for me to bother with than pushing all the wrong buttons on my phone with my fat fingers. Is it really necessary to have something the size of a bar of soap to do keep track of your life and entertain you? So after all of this, I have just one question....Don't you feel awkward using what would be considered outdated in public?

Tabloids and why I love them

I've always loved fantasy stories and things that are too good to be true. My life reads a lot like that but it's totally true. I guess it would be to no one's surprise that I love tabloids. Not the celeb news though. I'm not a Perez Hilton, National Enquirer or Star fan. I don't care if Britney's snatch is blue or Lady Gaga fired her crew or they found Michael Jackson's nose in Bubble's poo. I don't know those people and I'm not interested in their drama. I don't read much in terms of newspapers, watch the news unless I know something important is going on in the world and I need to be informed and even still I somehow know what's going on in the world. Tabloids are so much more fun to read anyway.

Give me Bat Boy or stories of a 500 pound infant and his mom that's a mere 97 pounds. I don't mind GLOBE or National Examiner, they feature stories of real people in addition to a little bit of celeb fluff. My favorite was Weekly World News but the only thing that remains in print similar to WWN is the SUN. WWN is online but it's just not the same as when I was a kid though. When I was younger I'd secretly ride my bike down to the Jr. Food Store and see other kids spending their money on candy, sodas, Slush Puppies and bags of potato chips, I spent mine on the Weekly World News and a cheap Faygo Root Beer. It would take me a week to read the stories in the paper completely and then a day or so to reskim it and enjoy the advertisements. Did I care if stories were made up? Nope. I loved that part of them. There was something magical in stories with headlines like Woman's Breast Implants Explode Thanks to Low Flying 747. Did I believe it? At the time, yes and even now, I'm sure there was some truth to some of the stories but the point of a tabloid is to go into them knowing there is a requirement to suspend your disbelief. You just can't disagree that there isn't entertainment value in stories with headlines like Grossed Out Surgeon Vomits In Patient or North Korean Sub Probing US Lake, Is Kim Jong Il Poised To Attack?

Silly Purchases? Definitely....Waste of Money? ABSOLUTLEY NOT!!!

~Adrian

Click here to purchase Bat Boy Lives from Amazon.com

Me me me

Wow, I've had this account forever and a day and have yet to post anything on it. I started blogging way back when everyone was on myspace but when I made the switch to facebook, there was no blog so I sort of abandoned it but somehow I missed my mindless, sometimes drug induced, rambles and I thought that I'd just start doing video blogs on youtube. Unfortunately, much like the rest of the population of the planet, when I feel like blogging...I'm usually decked out in my boxers and nothing more. I don't think many people want to see my moobs (man boobs) while I talk about myself, my day or shit that's gone down in my past...so here I am...typing away with lots to say but no readers. What happens if I post something really cool and I have no readers until a year from now? Would there really be a huge demand in a year for old mindless chatter? I guess I'll see.

So currently I'm unemployed, other than selling my crap on eBay, etsy and doing psychic readings on keen.com and bitwine...yes I am a psychic reader for real and YES I will do a reading for you if you contact me through either my keen.com, etsy or bitwine accounts. Yes, I'm saying no free readings, it's my time damnit and you'll get enough of me for free here, on facebook and a little bit on youtube.

So what am I planning to do here? Hell if I know but to be completely honest, being the mental case that I am...I'm sure it will involve strange, comical and something a little intriguing or at least like a wreck on I-75, you don't wanna look but you got to.

BTW-If there's anyone in Atlanta with connections to a decent paying office job...hit me up.

~Adrian