The Adventures of Casper & Soren: A Book Update & Blog Comeback!

Hey everyone! It's been a minute, hasn't it? If you've been wondering where I've been, you're not alone! My blog has been a little quiet lately, and trust me, it's not for lack of trying. I truly love connecting with you all here with a daily post, but life, work and especially diving headfirst into the world of my upcoming book, "Under the Lifeguard's Watch," have really taken over in the best way possible.

Speaking of the book, oh my goodness, what a journey it's been! "Under the Lifeguard's Watch" clocks in at a hefty 33 chapters and I'm currently in the thick of revisions and editing. As of right now, I'm happy to report I'm up to chapter 27! My goal is to tackle a chapter a day, but sometimes I get a little carried away (in the best way!) because I just have to add a few more juicy details to the story. It's so important to me to do Casper and Soren some serious justice. I've completely fallen in love with them, and I really, truly hope you will too.

And here's a little secret for you, straight from the boys themselves: once we get to the end of this book, there's even more to their origin story! Yes, while this is just the very first installment in their incredible series, they have instructed me to go a little further within "Under the Lifeguard's Watch," where you'll find some awesome bonus features that'll give you a deeper look into each of our personalities. Yes, I'm including myself too – after all, they've entrusted me to tell their tale and it’s been an absolute honor to be brought into the alliance.

I'm going to do my absolute best to keep you guys in the loop on Casper and Soren's progress. You can also look forward to some extra special posts hitting the blog in the next few weeks! Get ready for the return of Saturday GLOWcase (finally!) and maybe even a sneak peek into what my dear friend Stig Ren has been up to. For now, I genuinely hope you're all doing wonderfully.

It really means the world to me to hear from you, so please don't hesitate to drop a comment below and let me know what you think. Your engagement and support mean everything and truly help keep this little corner of the internet thriving. If you enjoy what I do here and are able to, any support you might consider would be deeply appreciated and goes a long way in helping me continue creating and sharing these stories with you.

A Christmas Tale from Stig's Gran: The Unraveling of Barb's "Famous" Biscuit Recipe

Welcome to a very special Christmas in July edition! While we may be soaking up the summer sun, it's never too early to dive into a heartwarming (and hilariously awkward) holiday story. So, grab your beach towel and a glass of lemonade as we take you back to a memorable Christmas Eve in December that left my best friend Stig's family laughing for years to come.

It all started with a Christmas story from Stig's Gran about his mom—let's call her Barb—and to this day, I can't help but believe my own sister might have had a hand in the whole debacle.

You see, Barb was infamous in Stig's family, but not in a good way. She only bothered to show up to family gatherings when she knew there was something in it for her. Christmas was her prime target—showing up just in time for dinner, often empty-handed, and mysteriously vanishing before the gift exchange. Classic Barb.

One Christmas Eve, she strutted into Gran's trailer park Rec Room, uninvited as usual, with a Tupperware container full of what she proudly dubbed "Barb's Famous Biscuits." Let me tell you, Barb was infamous, and there was nothing famous about her or anything she concocted in the kitchen. As everyone began to fill their plates from the lovingly prepared buffet, Barb's "famous" biscuits started to disappear, revealing a thin piece of waxed paper with a very familiar logo and restaurant name—Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yes, you read that right. Barb's so-called famous biscuits were actually the Colonel's creation.

The room erupted in laughter, and Barb stormed out, not only without enjoying Gran's delicious food but also without her precious Tupperware. Stig's cousin, Julia, seized the opportunity and claimed Barb's freshly made plate as her own, in addition to the one she had already made. Talk about a Christmas miracle! Nothing goes to waste in Stig's family.

Now, we can all guess that someone Barb had been rude to was handed the Tupperware container and tasked with arranging the biscuits to look homemade. They knew exactly how to execute sweet revenge on the Original "Karen" by placing the KFC paper under the biscuits, ensuring her lie unraveled one biscuit at a time.

From that Christmas forward, Stig and his aunts made it a tradition to pick up Barb's Famous Biscuits from KFC for every holiday gathering, hoping she'd show up. But she never did. And even if she had, I'm sure she would've claimed she didn't remember the incident and projected it onto one of her sisters or her niece, Julia, which was just in her nature.

On a side note, my sister Becki worked at KFC on Davis Highway in Pensacola and the location in Milton during the time frame that this occured. This sounds exactly like something Becki would have done to a rude customer because, well, my sister is just awesome that way.

Do you have any hilarious holiday stories or family drama to share? Drop them in the comments below! And as we celebrate Christmas in July, if this story brought a smile to your face or reminded you of your own family antics, feel free to show some love with a little contribution or a gift. After all, who says the spirit of giving is limited to December? 🎄🎁

Stay cool and merry, everyone! 🎅✨

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Stig’s Unconventional Job Related Adventures: Lessons from a Rebel Spirit

We all have that one friend who turns life into an unforgettable tapestry of eccentric experiences. For me, that friend is Stig. From the moment I met him, he’s been this unapologetically unique force of nature who thrives on making his own fun and living without regrets. Much like me, his life has been a series of “you can’t make this up” moments, all capture his strange and loveable spirit, including this story.

Back in the day, Stig had this peculiar, self-created pastime—one that was as weird as it was oddly brilliant. You see, he didn’t need a traditional job. Between working for his Gran in her trailer park (sometimes cheekily charging tenants for services he was technically already paid to do), selling random treasures at the flea market and dabbling in the art of the occasional hustle, he had more than enough to get by. But Stig wasn’t about the money—it was about the experience.

In true Stig fashion, he invented a quirky hobby: filling out job applications for random businesses around town, acing the interviews and negotiating wages he had no intention of accepting. Why? Out of sheer curiosity and a desire to see what the job market really looked like in our little corner of the world, Pace and Milton. He wanted to know what Gran's tenants might be earning, and, well, because it was fun to him.

I’ll never forget the day he told me, while we were lounging in one of his Gran's camper trailers, that he’d interviewed at every fast-food joint in town just “for shits and giggles.” When I told him I needed a job to escape my parents’ drama and make my own money, his advice was simple: "You’ll need to look out of town because I’ve been everywhere here already."

And that’s when he shared one of his funniest stories. Apparently, he once applied to McDonald’s in Milton, handed his application to a cashier and got a call back within hours. He suited up, went to the interview and met with a “manager” who couldn’t have been more than a year or two out of high school herself. After the standard questions, she hit him with something absurd: “Would you have a problem cleaning the restroom with a toothbrush if someone asked you to?”

Most people would balk, but not Stig. With a straight face, he replied, “Can I bring my own toothbrush so I don’t inconvenience you?” Oddly enough, she loved his answer. When she offered him the job on the spot, he not only declined but also gave her an impromptu lecture about inappropriate interview questions, poor management practices and the laughable pay.

That’s the thing about Stig—he’s never afraid to call out nonsense when he sees it. He’s always stood up for what’s right, whether it’s challenging a bad boss or helping a teenager negotiate fair pay for their first job. To this day, Stig remains that guy who looks out for others, ensuring they don’t start their working lives underpaid and undervalued.

Stig’s story reminds me that life is what you make of it. Whether you’re navigating job interviews or just trying to keep things interesting, a little humor and a lot of authenticity can go a long way. He’s proof that you don’t need to follow the conventional path to make an impact—sometimes, all it takes is staying true to who you are and lifting others as you go.

What about you? Do you have a friend with an equally wild or inspiring story? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear them! And hey, if Stig’s tale brought a smile to your face or sparked some nostalgia, consider showing us a little love by supporting the blog. Your kindness keeps these stories alive. 💛

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The Story of a Boy, His Shoes, and a Mother's Mean Streak: Stig's Payless Pro Wings

Pretty much Stig during his middle school years.

Growing up in Pace was not easy for any of us who didn't have much money. When Stig shared his story with me, it resonated deeply because I had a similar experience but not just with shoes but clothes from department stores like K-Mart, TG&Y and *Zayres. The kids we grew up with were a shallow bunch, and to this day some still are.

Stig's grandma did the most she could for her son's little boy because his mama, Barb, ruled his daddy's life and bank account and she resented Stig just for being born, “stealing every bit of fun she felt she deserved.” Stig's dad could have put his foot down, but it would have meant giving up whatever it was that she used to cast whatever spell she had on him. While not wealthy, Gran was well off enough to take care of him. On occasion, his parents would throw a bone, usually already chewed on.

A few days before he started the 6th grade, Gran took Stig to University Mall for a little shopping for new clothes for school. Stig's mom told her she already bought him some shoes and would drop the boxes off the night before, in time his first day. I remember Stig was excited because he thought his mama was going to be different for a change and take an interest in him. Gran spent around $400 on Stig’s new clothes—back then that was a lot for pants and shirts, even if she hadn’t taken him to the more expensive stores in University Mall. Gran took him to Chick-fil-A for dinner after their Saturday evening shopping spree. Stig was so excited to show off his new wardrobe to me and even more excited that Barb would be over later to drop off the three pairs of his brand new shoes.

He had worn flip flops all summer because a kid pushed him into Pond Creek and he came out missing one of his Reeboks that he worked hard to pay for after his other shoes were too tight to put on, much less walk in. He had thrown out his shoes from the previous year because his already large feet were too big for them and they were basically worn out. How often have you seen a 6th grader with size 11 shoes? He’s currently size 15. Stig and Gran both felt they should have stopped off at Athlete's Foot or Shoe City to buy a pair of British Knights, LA Gear, or another pair of Reeboks like the ones he had before the Pond Creek incident. We both went to school the next day, he went to a different school than me but when I got home, he called me to tell me how his day went and his Gran wanted to know if I wanted to go with them to Moores and Shoe City. I gladly tagged along. Our school district had a dress code that included no shorts or open-toed shoes, and as much as Stig wanted to wear his flip-flops to school, he couldn't.

Barb, Stig’s mama, played a cruel prank typical of her mean-spirited nature. Knowing that Stig's shoe size was currently size 11 and would probably be an 11.5 or 12 by next summer, she had gone to Payless Shoesource next to TG&Y and bought him three pairs of shoes: a pair of brown cowboy boots (Stig's calves were too defined even for the boots, and given the fact that he was already almost 6 feet tall, the heels would have made him uncomfortably tall), black fake suede dress shoes with tassels on the top that looked like something our old male teachers or preachers would wear, and the ones meant to be his shoes for everyday use—a pair of white Pro Wings sneakers, with velcro, which no kid wanted. Not only did she knowingly buy brands and styles that were horrible, but she also bought size 10, fully aware that he was a size 11 and could possibly be a size 12 by the time all three pairs were broken in. The kicker was she dropped his shoes off at 8 PM, knowing all the stores in our area were closed and he was stuck with ugly, out-of-style shoes that didn’t fit.

Being someone who never wanted to miss his first day at school, Stig crammed his feet into the Pro Wings shoes that were a size too small and endured a whole day of the other kids making fun of him and his cheap shoes. He could barely walk because his toes were scrunched up. To add salt to his wound, he was given two days detention for taking his shoes off in one of his classes. He had tried to loosen the velcro and had also taken off his socks to make more room in the shoes, but nothing worked. Gran called the school to raise hell, and the secretary hung up on her after telling her it was the guardian's responsibility to ensure the child had proper attire and his insubordination, which resulted in his detention, would not be tolerated by the staff. From that, Stig became a force to be reckoned with by virtue of Gran, and she told him to stand up for himself and take his shoes off in every class if he wanted to because she read the handbook, including the dress code and it never said wear shoes at all times—just no open-toed shoes.

In that particular class, which fell right after his PE class, he would slide out of the Nikes, British Knights or Reeboks Gran bought him to replace Barb’s horrible shoes and let everyone around him enjoy the aroma of his size 11s, sometimes removing his socks after PE just to make a point to his last-period teacher, the one that sent him to detention. Stig and I have laughed at this story for years and wondered if any of his classmates secretly enjoyed the revenge on that bitchy teacher. To this day, Stig stands up for himself, and when he's not sporting a pair of Doc Martens, Hokas, or Nikes, he is walking around showing off his bare size 15s.

Thanks for reading Stig's story! Got a similar tale or a funny school memory? Share it in the comments below. If this story resonated with you and you'd like to support us, your contributions would be greatly appreciated. Cheers to the resilience of kids like Stig!

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The Unforgettable Hamster Incident: A Birthday Tale of Stig Ren

Life has a way of throwing the most unexpected surprises our way, and for my long time friend Stig, one of those surprises happened a few years before I met him, on his 6th birthday. Stig’s life has been nothing short of extraordinary, filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears. Today, I’d like to share an unforgettable story from his childhood that still makes us chuckle and shudder in equal measure. Buckle up and join me as I drag you down memory lane.

My friend Stig’s life has been an epic one. His mom and dad sent him to live with his grandma unofficially when they went on a cruise to Mexico and failed to tell anyone when they got home. His gran was more of a mom to him and, by extension of Stig, me. His parents only attempted to parent during birthdays and Christmas and even then, it was half-hearted and possibly mean-spirited attempts to remind him that he was an unwanted child. Hold on tight, Stig’s 6th birthday present was one such half-baked parental moment that his parents were infamous for.

Stig's parents were wealthy by the standards of residents in Milton and Pace, Florida, but they were stingy unless there was something in it for their benefit. So Stig always got second-best or no-effort gifts from his parents. His Gran, on the other hand, while not wealthy, did better for him. They were known for their half-hearted attempts at parenting, often leaving him in the care of his loving Gran while they pursued their own adventures. Unfortunately, their selfishness and disregard for Stig's well-being went beyond mere neglect. They prioritized their own desires, frequently embarking on lavish vacations and social gatherings, leaving Stig behind with little more than a passing thought.

On Stig's 6th birthday, his parents decided to make one of their rare gestures of "affection." They picked up a bright yellow plastic cage, some wood shavings, hamster food, and the biggest, fattest hamster they could find at TG&Y in Milton. Along with this peculiar gift came carrot cake cupcakes from the Delchamps a few doors down from the TG&Y. Bear in mind, Carrot Cake is NOT something you get for a kid's birthday and in this case, they were also dangerous—since Stig was highly allergic to nuts, and the cake contains walnuts. It was a clear sign of their thoughtlessness, lack of care and evilness.

When Stig got home and saw the hamster in the cage, he screamed like a girl, terrified by the sight. Mice, rats, and anything that resembled them sent shivers down his spine. Gran, ever the caring figure, promised they would find the little critter a new home. That night, Stig tried to muster the courage to bond with the hamster, thinking that as an unwanted child himself, they might have something in common. But as fate would have it, the hamster bit him, drawing blood and leaving him in tears.

Gran rushed to his side, as he held his bloody finger and crying. She asked Stig what he fed the little guy as she noticed something unusual in the cage—the hamster was munching on something. To their horror, they realized that the hamster had given birth and, much like Stig’s own mother, lacked any maternal instincts. The hamster had killed her litter and was eating them. Gran quickly disposed of the remains, sparing Stig from further trauma.

Years later, Gran revealed the full story over dinner at Red Lobster. Instead of disposing of the cannibalistic mama hamster, she had returned to TG&Y and bought not one, but fourteen more hamsters. With Stig's parents away on another vacation, Gran released the hamsters throughout their house, turning it into a rodent playground.

When Stig's parents returned three weeks later, they were greeted by chaos. Boxes of food in the pantry and cabinets were chewed open, leaving a trail of crumbs, debris and poop. Cords to their TVs, stereo, appliances, and even their beloved waterbed heater were gnawed through, rendering many of their electronics useless. The hamsters had burrowed into the sofa cushions, leaving small nests of shredded fabric and stuffing. In the game room, Stig's dad’s prized pool table had been infiltrated, with one of the hamsters making a cozy nest in one of the pockets and the innards of the table full of collected food and the ball return with droppings. They even found hamster droppings in their shoes and closets, evidence of their extensive exploration.

The house reeked of rodent activity, with chewed-up papers and books scattered around, and small teeth marks on the legs of furniture. Stig's parents never figured out that it all started with their ill-conceived gift to their son. This incident was a turning point for Stig, teaching him that love and care come from those who genuinely value you, like his Gran, rather than those who are supposed to by default.

To this day, Stig avoids small animals, though he adores cats and dogs. He often reflects on that birthday, not with bitterness, but with gratitude for his Gran's unwavering love and support.

Thanks for joining me on this wild ride through Stig’s 6th birthday adventure. Have you ever experienced a gift-gone-wrong moment or a memorable birthday tale? Share your stories in the comments below! And if you enjoyed this story, consider supporting the blog—every little bit helps me continue sharing these amazing tales. Here's to more unforgettable moments and the lessons we learn from them.

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My Unforgettable BFF For Life: The Stig Ren Experience

My Friday blog entries are usually about a movie I've seen or some sort of date night related activity but this one is about a person that's an experience to know. He and I share a love/hate relationship that will last until the day we both die. This is my pre-birthday gift to him.

I love talking about the things that bring joy into my life—whether it's the people I've known, the places I've been, or the unique items I've cherished over the years. Lately, I've been paying tribute to my favorite television show, GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. From the wrestlers to the devoted fans, the world of GLOW has been a significant source of inspiration for me. Over the holidays, I've shared many family stories, but I've come to realize that it's not just my family who are fascinating. Every person and every experience in my life holds its own intrigue.

Today, I want to focus on someone who has constantly reminded me that "Everything's content." He might just be the best source of content I've ever known. If you browse through my blog, you might stumble upon an account of his first time at Clutterer's Anonymous, a perfect example of the quirky adventures we share.

So, let me formally introduce you to my best friend since childhood, Stig Ren. No, that's not his real name—it's his chosen name for online purposes. Stig is more than a friend; he's a part of my story, a character in the tapestry of my life, and someone whose adventures and antics provide endless material to talk about.

Growing up, we all have that one friend who sticks by us through thick and thin. For me, that friend is Stig Ren. He’s been my lifelong best friend, an alter-ego of sorts, exhibiting the same quirky traits as me, though he's more outgoing and a bit crazy, I am crazy and more of an introvert and he is the extrovert. We met shortly after I moved to Florida after the 2nd grade, and our friendship has been a whirlwind of unique experiences ever since.

At first, Stig and I weren't exactly friends—we were more like playmates thrown together by circumstance. We often clashed and even considered each other enemies at times. Stig was the kind of person who craved attention from everyone, even dirty old men, whereas I preferred to stay under the radar. Despite our differences and initial animosity, we found common ground in our love for adventure and making money. Stig was incredibly money-driven, always looking for ways to earn a buck. He would charge residents to cut their grass at his granny's trailer park (even though it was his job and they didn’t seem to realize his granny already paid him to do so). Stig was always hustling.

Though he wasn't part of my story as a hustler at 16, my hustling days continued after Stig and I were reunited at 18. We both ended up in Vegas together in the mid-1990s, sharing a place and getting into all sorts of adventures. While I eventually left Vegas, Stig stayed, always finding new ways to thrive. In my book, I mention Stig during a few of the stories, even though he wasn’t present at the time. I simply use his name because Stig’s personality is so similar to another person I worked closely with for a short while, creating a composite character of sorts because they were so very similar. That's probably why we were friends in the first place.

Stig has always had an uncanny ability to make friends wherever he goes, despite his phobia of people. His life has been a series of moves, from Florida to Las Vegas to Los Angeles, Europe, and New York, changing locations as effortlessly as changing clothes. We've had our fair share of clashes, even fighting over guys we wanted as boyfriends, knowing full well that neither of us had much of a chance or that they were bad for each of us. There was even a time in Vegas when Stig stole my boyfriend, only to dump him back to me when he realized the guy wasn't into what Stig was into compared to what I offered. I quickly dumped that guy when I realized he was just starstruck and sort of stalkerish. Stig and I could always count on each other to sort things out, no matter how complicated.

Stig's parents were quite distant, leaving his granny to raise him. His granny was a trip, she would buy us cigarettes, Boones Farm “wine” and potato chips with bean dip and let us spend hours hanging out by her little swimming pool if we promised to keep watch for the county authorities who occasionally came snooping around the property. Interestingly, while Stig’s parents loved me, my parents couldn't stand him. I got countless butt whoopings (a spanking with my dad’s belt) because of some of the things Stig and I would get into. His granny was more lax, and we enjoyed spending time together in the vacant trailers in her park, especially the campers that she intended to begin renting out after she got them fixed up, I don’t think any of them got fixed up, which is why the county was always trying to fine her and have her removed them because they really were an eyesore, we found a few snakes in them. Stig claims to have had numerous girlfriends, he's most definitely not a ladies man. As far as boyfriends, I doubt he'll ever be in a serious relationship, especially considering that he’s a Gray Ace and just never has been interested in anything that wasn't already in front of him. We are both similar in that respect; that and being gay are in our genes. He struggles with commitment, even when it comes to choosing pizza toppings. However, Stig can commit to shopping and collecting unnecessary items just to have them. While "hoarder" could be a term for him, he’s not the type who collects and refuses to throw things away. He uses everything he owns and keeps everything well organized.

Despite my having other best friends throughout my life—like Jon Lawrence until the 6th grade, TK who was my best friend with benefits from the 7th grade till the 10th grade when I left home at 16, Charlie who I ran a pirate radio show with in high school, and Ernie who I've known since I was 17 and am still ride-or-die best friends with—Stig has always been a constant in my life. Each of these friends deserves their own stories, maybe in the future, but Stig remains a cornerstone of my friendships.

Professionally, Stig is a fixer. He helps people navigate legal troubles using his education and extensive network of personal connections. His ability to manipulate situations and influence outcomes is remarkable, and calling him a smooth talker would be an understatement.

What does he look like, you ask? Stig stands at 6'5", stocky, with wavy brown hair and gray eyes. He has wolf-like features and much like me, he loves wearing glittery shirts, eyeliner, and Doc Marten boots, whether he's in a suit or his signature kilt. If we hadn't known each other since childhood and weren't turned off by each other's kinks and interests, we might have dated in our younger years, though we did do things that boys do when they are experimenting, which probably contributed to our abilities to make money later on in our lives. Too bad we didn’t get our hands on a proper video camera, though one of the residents that was evicted from his granny’s trailer park did leave behind a video camera made by Fisher-Price, of all companies. I think it was called the Pixelvision or PXL2000 or something like that, and it recorded on actual cassette tapes rather than video tapes, in black and white and not very good quality. We would record ourselves doing dance routines or playing around like we were dogs and did a few little videos we thought of sending to America’s Funniest Home Videos, but also our filmmaking turned into something that would have made us more infamous than famous, like Tracy Lords, if you know what I mean. We loved that little camera, and I remember always buying Panasonic AA batteries from the hardware store called Scotties because they were the cheapest around. I wish we kept those cassettes, though I’m pretty sure the only way they could be seen is through the same system. Chances are, we recorded over them, him to sell copies of his ill gotten Columbia House tapes at the flea market and me, for the radio show I was doing with Charlie. Do you have a PXL2000 or Pixelvision you don’t have a use for? If so, send it my way. I think it might be fun to play around with.

Years ago, Stig turned over all of his social media pages to me while he was “away” and asked me to keep up with them as if he were in jail or rehab or just imaginary. I can’t disclose where he was at the time, but I did my best. Now that he’s back, he prefers real life than the life some have made for themselves on social media, and though we’ve both lost access to his previous social media pages and due to the state of the social media climate, you can only find Stig at his new BlueSky account is @ryanbeechman.bsky.social.

Though we no longer live close to each other, Stig remains my ride-or-die friend. His birthday is in February, close to mine, and no matter what gift I get him, he always says the card is his favorite. He's a genuinely nice guy, and I love him dearly, even if we can never quite explain our bond. I usually get him gifts from joke shops, places like Richard's Variety Store, or random things from eBay related to vintage stuff. Recently, he asked for a retro magic kit for some reason. I know he doesn’t really need it, though I do suspect he would probably just make me do the tricks on a video so he can watch. So typical of him. He did it with a few electronic lab kits from eBay which I’ve not gotten around to doing for him. Our birthdays are coming up soon, and while he might be a bit lonely, he has a love for quirky stuff and I will most likely send him a care package, if anyone’s interested in contributing. He's also quite the singer, despite being untrained. Perhaps he and I may even record a few duets together from wherever we are, in the future, just for fun. It's the kind of friendship where thoughtfulness and generosity thrive, making every gesture, no matter how small, feel truly special.

Do you have a friend like Stig, someone who stays with you through all of life's ups and downs?