Navigating Toxic Friendships: Recognizing the Signs and Finding Support

Throughout life, we encounter various people, each with unique characteristics and behaviors. These interactions shape our experiences, teaching us valuable lessons about friendships and relationships. Here, I share observations of people I have known over the years, shedding light on the importance of recognizing and addressing concerning behaviors for our own well-being.

Over the years, I've met, and worked with, individuals whose friendship have evolved and grown. Despite the distance, these connections were mostly great, and if proximity allowed, spending time together would have been frequent. However, certain behaviors sometimes become increasingly concerning.

Some individuals often engage in actions that defy better judgment to seek approval from strangers. They go to great lengths to be liked, sharing private information about themselves and others in hopes of making a favorable impression. Sometimes they lend money to people who obviously have no means to repay, only to lament being wronged when they knew better from the start. This tendency to please others at their own expense often leads to a cycle of disappointment and frustration.

On social media, they frequently post negative, attention-seeking memes, photos and messages. When confronted, they insist that the content merely caught their eye while scrolling, and they hit repost, claiming they themselves are okay—even though it is evident they are not. Their sensitivity leads to jealousy when mutual friends spend time with others, feeling replaced or deprived of attention. Occasionally, they even threaten self-harm, and when confronted, they still claim they are fine and that it's nothing serious. These individuals crave validation and reassurance, not realizing that their behavior alienates the very people from whom they seek approval.

Additionally, these individuals criticize their friends and scrutinize social media posts and comments, making everyone feel inferior. In person, they often differ from their online personas, masking their depression or "misery loves company" behavior while still speaking ill of others behind their backs in a cowardly manner. This duality creates confusion and mistrust among those around them. Furthermore, they project these feelings onto others, assuming the same negative intentions in those they interact with.

Some individuals take advice from friends about needing a fresh start. However, when things don't work out, especially when they haven't committed to making the fresh start work or put in any effort, they blame the advice-giver for their situation. Even when presented with great opportunities, they dismiss them. This pattern of behavior highlights a reluctance to take responsibility for their own lives.

Such behavior is draining and toxic, affecting not only those around them but also the individuals themselves. It is crucial to recognize these signs and know when to step back for our own well-being. While I am not a qualified therapist, my experience as a tarot reader has brought many troubled individuals to me for readings, and it seemed they used my advice as their own form of counseling. Sharing information about hotlines and counseling services, and suggesting professional help or 12-step programs for codependency, can be beneficial.

Resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

• The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

• Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA): 1-888-444-2359

Seeking help is a brave and crucial step toward recovery. Encourage those in need to reach out to these resources, and remember to prioritize your own mental health. Distancing yourself from negative influences is sometimes necessary to protect your well-being. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people and organizations ready to support you through difficult times.

If you have any thoughts or experiences to share, please leave a comment below. Your input is invaluable and helps create a supportive community. If you feel inclined to contribute to this ongoing effort, your support is greatly appreciated.

Additionally, if you'd like to show some love and support in other ways, feel free to do so—every little bit helps in continuing this important work. Thank you!

You can also find me on the following social media platforms:
https://www.facebook.com/adrianduarte
https://bsky.app/profile/adriansknitwits.bsky.social
https://www.instagram.com/adriansknitwits
https://www.threads.net/adriansknitwits

Kid Beats Mom Over French Fries

In a shocking turn of events, Dennis Hickman went berserk and repeatedly clubbed his disabled mother, Sheila Ross, because she wouldn't share her French fries with him. Family and friends have stated that the troubled man has a history of violent and bizarre behavior. Following his rampage, Dennis was charged with first and second-degree assault.

Sheila Ross, Dennis's 52-year-old mother, suffered injuries to her head, wrist, and leg. Fortunately, she was treated and released from the hospital the same evening. Despite the severity of the incident, Sheila claims her son went crazy but isn't crazy and simply needs help.

The altercation began when Sheila denied her son the last remaining French fries from her meal. In a fit of rage, Dennis grabbed a bat and started swinging. His rampage didn't stop there; he kicked down the door, slashed his mother's tires, bashed in her mailbox, and hit her car multiple times.

In a heartfelt statement to the police, Mrs. Ross said, "He's my only son. I love him, but I can't be abused." This incident highlights the complex and often painful dynamics within families dealing with mental health issues.

Family and friends have expressed their concern for both Sheila and Dennis, hoping that this incident will lead to the help and support Dennis needs to manage his behavior and mental health. The community remains shocked and saddened by the events, but there is a collective hope for healing and resolution.

Embracing Kindness and Inclusivity in Our Communities: An Open Letter to the Universe

Recently, I've had a lot weighing on my mind. While I usually try to create a blog entry daily and keep the experience positive and light, this one is a bit deeper due to a mixture of experiences. I've received negative comments on social media regarding some of my blog entries and posts, witnessed friends being bullied, and observed individuals trying to influence others through overblown he said/she said situations. All these incidents have made me reflect on the importance of kindness, inclusivity, and understanding. As the saying goes, "Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours shine any brighter."

In today's world, it's more important than ever to stand up for ourselves and our beliefs while also treating others with kindness and respect. It's easy to get caught up in our own perspectives and passionate feelings, but sometimes our words and actions can unintentionally hurt others.

One thing to keep in mind is that information can often come from second or third-hand, he said/she said accounts. It's important to consider all perspectives and seek to understand the full picture before making judgments or taking sides.

Inclusivity is a wonderful goal, but true inclusivity requires efforts from all sides. It means respecting different perspectives and supporting each other, even when we don't always agree. By focusing on the positive aspects of our relationships and lifting each other up, we can create a more supportive and understanding community.

Unfortunately, jealousy and negative comments often arise when someone achieves something good for themselves. It's essential to recognize these feelings and not let them affect our interactions with others. Instead of being envious or critical, we should celebrate each other's successes and support one another's growth.

Mental illness is another important aspect to consider. It's crucial to be empathetic and understanding towards those who may be struggling with mental health issues. Offering support and resources can make a significant difference in someone's life. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health challenges, there are several resources available:

• 988 Lifeline: A 24/7 crisis line for mental health support. Call 988 to connect with a crisis counselor.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text "HELPLINE" to 62640 for support and resources.

• Crisis Text Line: Text "REASON" to 741741 for free, confidential support 24/7.

Bullying is another issue that can have a profound impact on individuals. It's essential to create a safe and supportive environment where bullying is not tolerated. If you or someone you know is experiencing bullying, there are resources available to help:

• StopBullying.gov: Provides information on how to prevent and respond to bullying.

• National Bullying Prevention Center: Offers resources and toolkits for bullying prevention.

• KnowBullying App: A free app from SAMHSA that helps boost confidence and resilience in children and provides strategies for facing bullying.

Letting go of past grievances and learning to forgive is an important step towards personal growth and building healthier relationships. Holding onto anger and resentment can weigh us down, whereas forgiveness can free us and allow us to move forward. Being the bigger person doesn't mean ignoring the hurt but rather choosing to rise above it and focus on positive interactions. While I have done my share of bullying in the past, I've tried to make amends to those I have wronged and strive to make things right between others when possible.

Over the past few months, many of us have been working on projects aimed at bringing people together and fostering a sense of family within our communities. These efforts are not just about the projects themselves, but about creating connections and strengthening bonds among all of us.

Self-help books can also be a great resource for personal growth and understanding. Here are some highly recommended titles:

• "Atomic Habits" by James Clear: Learn how small changes can lead to remarkable results. This book is one of the top selling books where I work.

• "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz: Discover the power of personal integrity. A short but great read

• "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck" by Mark Manson: Embrace a more resilient and unapologetic approach to life. This is one of my absolute favorite books and it sells out as fast as I stock it at work.

• "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown: Explore the courage to be vulnerable and connect with others. Her books are amazing no matter which you start with but I suggest this one first.

• "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero: Boost your self-confidence and achieve your goals. Because no matter what anyone thinks, you are your own priority.

Additionally, self-help groups can provide a supportive community for those seeking personal growth and understanding. Here are some groups you might find helpful:

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): Offers support groups for anxiety, depression, OCD, and more. I sugger from all of the above and there's no shame in reaching out for help.

• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA): Provides support groups for bipolar disorder and depression.

• Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): Offers support for ADHD and related challenges.

• National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA): Provides support for eating disorders and related issues.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Connects individuals with mental illness to support groups and resources.

Let's strive to avoid negativity and bullying, and instead, embrace empathy and kindness. By doing so, we can make a big difference in our communities and in the lives of those around us.

Thank you for being open to understanding different perspectives and for your commitment to making our community/world a better place.

Take care, Adrian S. Duarté 💖