Family. It's a bond thicker than blood, right? Well, sometimes, in families like mine, it's a bond thicker than… well, let's just say it's complicated. The stories that have been passed down through the generations, whispered in hushed tones and roared with laughter, are the real treasures. And this one, a tale of audacious shenanigans and suburban surprise, is a perfect example. I've heard it from so many relatives and the key players have confirmed its truth. It's a story so good, some have even suggested I include it in my book. While I'm not sure it fits there, it definitely deserves a place here, in the annals of "The Donald Chronicles."
Back in the 70s and 80s, my daddy's side of the family, particularly those descended from my great-Aunt Velma, were known for their… let's call it "spirited" nature. My Granny, bless her heart, used to warn everyone whenever Velma and her crew were coming over: "Watch them like hawks! They'll rob you blind!" I have a mountain of stories about their escapades, but this one, the inaugural tale of "The Donald Chronicles," is a true gem.
My Aunt Beverly, a vision of elegance and grace, was a hairdresser with a keen eye for beauty, both personal and domestic. She kept herself impeccably put together, and her homes were always a reflection of her refined taste. After a stint in a trailer behind my Granny's house on East Drive, she, my Uncle Gene, and their sons, Brian and Darin, finally settled into a lovely, quiet neighborhood in Mobile, Alabama. They were just getting settled into their new home when, wouldn't you know it, word reached the ears of Velma's daughter, Sissy.
One fateful day, Beverly answered her doorbell to find Sissy, a grown woman, standing on her porch, ready to make a deal. Sissy, with a tale of hard times and a proposition too good to refuse, offered Beverly a "perfect" set beautiful rocking chairs. The chairs would look amazing on her new front porch, Sissy insisted, and the price was unbelievably low. Beverly, charmed by the offer and perhaps a touch of familial loyalty, agreed. Sissy and I think my cousins Micha, Aimee, and Tyre (pronounced Ty-Ree) – promptly unloaded the furniture from their beat-up pickup truck and arranged it in Beverly's yard. Beverly, delighted with her new acquisition, couldn't have been happier.
A week later, a knock at the door brought a different kind of surprise. It was a neighbor, looking rather… perplexed. They explained that their rocking chairs had mysteriously vanished the previous week, and, well, the furniture on Beverly's porch looked suspiciously familiar. As Beverly recounted her recent purchase from her "family," the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. The realization dawned on Beverly: she had been unwittingly enjoying her neighbor's rocking chairs, courtesy of a brazen daylight heist orchestrated by our own relatives. Beverly, being the honest and kind hearted person that she is gave back the chairs, deeply apologizing for the embarrassing situation that was not fault of her own.
The story, as it's been told and retold, always ends with a hearty laugh. It's a testament to the colorful characters in my family and the unexpected twists and turns life can take. It also makes you think about the things we value, the stories we tell, and the connections that bind us, even when those connections are a little… unconventional.
What are your favorite family stories? Have you ever experienced anything quite like this? Share your thoughts in the comments below! I'd love to hear from you. And if you enjoy these tales from "The Donald Chronicles" and want to see more, consider supporting the project. Your engagement, in whatever form it takes, is what keeps these stories alive.
I wasn't born yet in 1970, but it was the year my sister Becki was born, and I have always been fascinated by the past. Growing up, I developed a love for all things retro and found myself drawn to the history and culture of eras gone by. 1970, seems to be a remarkable year filled with significant events, unique trends, and unforgettable moments. Let's take a trip down memory lane and explore what life was like in 1970, a half a decade before I was born.
The cost of living in 1970 was quite different from today. The median yearly income for all families was $9,867, and the minimum wage was $1.60 per hour. The median cost of a new home was $23,400, and a postage stamp was just $0.06. Gasoline cost $0.36 per gallon, and everyday items like VO5 shampoo (15 oz.) were $0.99, Kleenex (200 ct.) was $0.25, and margarine (1 pound) was $0.39. Pork chops (1 pound) cost $0.79, a movie ticket was $1.55, and an ounce of gold was valued at $37.44.
The year was filled with significant news events. In February, the five-month trial of the Chicago Seven ended with all seven acquitted of criminal conspiracy, though five were found guilty of crossing state lines to incite a riot. In March, New York postal workers went on an eight-day strike, resulting in collective bargaining rights and increased wages. April saw the explosion of an oxygen tank on Apollo 13, leading to a miraculous return to Earth for the crew led by Jim Lovell. Americans celebrated the first Earth Day in April, founded by Wisconsin Senator Gaylord Nelson. President Richard Nixon authorized U.S. troops to cross the border into Cambodia. In July, British soldiers enforced a curfew in Northern Ireland following clashes with the IRA. September witnessed Palestinian militants hijacking planes, triggering the Black September conflict. Finally, in November, Pope Paul VI survived an assassination attempt during his visit to the Philippines.
In 1970, Richard Nixon was the President of the United States, with Spiro Agnew serving as Vice President. The U.S. population was approximately 205.1 million, while the world population was around 3.7 billion.
The Isle of Wight Festival, Europe's answer to Woodstock, took place for the final time until 2002, featuring performances by Jimi Hendrix and other legendary artists. Tragically, Hendrix died of an accidental drug overdose shortly after the festival, followed by Janis Joplin's death the next month. Both were just 27 years old. The Doors' lead singer Jim Morrison faced legal troubles and was sentenced to six months in jail for indecent exposure and profanity during a Miami concert, but he died the following year before serving his sentence.
In sports, umpires went on strike for the first time in Major League Baseball history, and Patricia Palinkas became the first woman to play in a professional football game. The New York Times pioneered its op-ed page, and Simon & Garfunkel released their final studio album, "Bridge Over Troubled Water," before breaking up.
The 1970-1971 TV season featured popular shows like "Marcus Welby, M.D.," "The Flip Wilson Show," "Here's Lucy," "Ironside," "Gunsmoke," "ABC Movie of the Week," "Hawaii Five-O," "Medical Center," "Bonanza," and "The FBI." Notable series premieres included "All My Children," "McCloud," "The Flip Wilson Show," "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "Dan August," "Make Room for Granddaddy," "The Odd Couple," and "The Partridge Family."
In 1970, several beloved TV shows came to an end. On March 13, "The Ghost & Mrs. Muir" concluded on ABC, having initially premiered in 1968 on NBC. "Land of the Giants," which also premiered in 1968, aired its final episode on ABC on March 22. "The Flying Nun," a show that began in 1967, wrapped up on April 3 on ABC. The long-running "Petticoat Junction," which debuted in 1963, ended its run on CBS on April 4. "Dragnet 1967," which started in 1967, concluded on NBC on April 16. The adventure series "Daniel Boone," which began in 1964, ended on NBC on May 7. The spy comedy "Get Smart," originally airing on NBC in 1965 before moving to CBS, had its final episode on May 15. Lastly, the magical sitcom "I Dream of Jeannie," which also premiered on NBC in 1965, concluded on May 26.
Some of the popular movies of 1970 included "Airport," "Catch-22," "M*A*S*H," "Ryan's Daughter," "Love Story," and "Tora! Tora! Tora!" The Oscar winners for movies released in 1970 included "Patton" for Best Picture, George C. Scott for Best Actor in "Patton" (though he refused the award), Glenda Jackson for Best Actress in "Women in Love," John Mills for Best Supporting Actor in "Ryan's Daughter," Helen Hayes for Best Supporting Actress in "Airport," and Franklin J. Schaffner for Best Director in "Patton."
The Baltimore Orioles won the World Series, while the Baltimore Colts were the Super Bowl V champions (determined in January 1971). The New York Knicks were the NBA champions, and the Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup. Other notable sports achievements included Nebraska Cornhuskers winning the NCAA Football Championship, Billy Casper winning The Masters Tournament, and Jim Plunkett receiving the Heisman Trophy.
Some of the top Billboard hits of 1970 included
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel "(They Long to Be) Close to You" by The Carpenters "American Woman/No Sugar Tonight" by The Guess Who "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B.J. Thomas "War" by Edwin Starr "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Diana Ross "I'll Be There" by The Jackson 5 "Get Ready" by Rare Earth "Let It Be" by The Beatles.
Popular books of the year included
"Love Story" by Erich Sega "The French Lieutenant's Woman" by John Fowles "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." by Judy Blume "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison "Ringworld" by Larry Niven "Fantastic Mr. Fox" by Roald Dahl "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West" by Dee Brown.
Popular toys in 1970 included the Mystery Date game, G.I. Joe, Tonka trucks, Karate Robots, Hoppity Hop, Walkie-talkies, Aurora cars, and Betsy Wetsy dolls.
Popular cars of the year included the Chevrolet Camaro, Ford Mustang, Mercury Cougar Eliminator, Dodge Charger, Plymouth Barracuda, Pontiac Grand Prix, Chevrolet Corvette, Ford Torino, and Pontiac GTO.
The year 1970 saw the birth of many notable personalities. Skeet Ulrich was born on January 20th, followed by Minnie Driver on January 31st. March brought the births of Julie Bowen on the 3rd, Rachel Weisz on the 7th, and Mariah Carey on the 27th. Queen Latifah arrived on March 18th, and Vince Vaughn on March 28th. May celebrated the births of Will Arnett on the 4th and Tina Fey on the 18th. June welcomed Leah Remini on the 15th and Nick Offerman on the 26th. In August, Anthony Anderson was born on the 15th and Melissa McCarthy on the 26th. October saw the birth of Matt Damon on the 8th, and December welcomed Jennifer Connelly on the 12th.
The year 1970 also saw the passing of several notable figures. Bertrand Russell died on February 2nd, followed by Alfred Newman on February 17th. March brought the deaths of William Hopper on the 6th and Erle Stanley Gardner on the 11th. On April 28th, Ed Begley passed away, and on May 14th, Billie Burke died. June saw the loss of E.M. Forster on the 7th and Abraham Maslow on the 8th. Preston Foster passed away on July 14th. In September, the world lost Vince Lombardi on the 3rd, Jimi Hendrix on the 18th, and Erich Maria Remarque on the 25th. Janis Joplin died on October 4th. Charles de Gaulle passed away on November 9th, followed by Rube Goldberg on December 7th and Sonny Liston on December 30th.
On the Newsstand Robert Redford lassoes his way to stardom following his turn in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Life, Feb. 6, 1970 The Ohio National Guard opens fire on student anti-war protesters at Kent State University, killing four. Life, May 15, 1970 "Masters of Sex" William Masters and Virginia Johnson continue their groundbreaking sexuality studies with the publication of Human Sexual Inadequacy. Time, May 25, 1970 Fans are quick to blame Yoko Ono for the Beatles' split. Hit Parader, August 1970
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