Navigating Toxic Friendships: Recognizing the Signs and Finding Support

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Throughout life, we encounter various people, each with unique characteristics and behaviors. These interactions shape our experiences, teaching us valuable lessons about friendships and relationships. Here, I share observations of people I have known over the years, shedding light on the importance of recognizing and addressing concerning behaviors for our own well-being.

Over the years, I've met, and worked with, individuals whose friendship have evolved and grown. Despite the distance, these connections were mostly great, and if proximity allowed, spending time together would have been frequent. However, certain behaviors sometimes become increasingly concerning.

Some individuals often engage in actions that defy better judgment to seek approval from strangers. They go to great lengths to be liked, sharing private information about themselves and others in hopes of making a favorable impression. Sometimes they lend money to people who obviously have no means to repay, only to lament being wronged when they knew better from the start. This tendency to please others at their own expense often leads to a cycle of disappointment and frustration.

On social media, they frequently post negative, attention-seeking memes, photos and messages. When confronted, they insist that the content merely caught their eye while scrolling, and they hit repost, claiming they themselves are okay—even though it is evident they are not. Their sensitivity leads to jealousy when mutual friends spend time with others, feeling replaced or deprived of attention. Occasionally, they even threaten self-harm, and when confronted, they still claim they are fine and that it's nothing serious. These individuals crave validation and reassurance, not realizing that their behavior alienates the very people from whom they seek approval.

Additionally, these individuals criticize their friends and scrutinize social media posts and comments, making everyone feel inferior. In person, they often differ from their online personas, masking their depression or "misery loves company" behavior while still speaking ill of others behind their backs in a cowardly manner. This duality creates confusion and mistrust among those around them. Furthermore, they project these feelings onto others, assuming the same negative intentions in those they interact with.

Some individuals take advice from friends about needing a fresh start. However, when things don't work out, especially when they haven't committed to making the fresh start work or put in any effort, they blame the advice-giver for their situation. Even when presented with great opportunities, they dismiss them. This pattern of behavior highlights a reluctance to take responsibility for their own lives.

Such behavior is draining and toxic, affecting not only those around them but also the individuals themselves. It is crucial to recognize these signs and know when to step back for our own well-being. While I am not a qualified therapist, my experience as a tarot reader has brought many troubled individuals to me for readings, and it seemed they used my advice as their own form of counseling. Sharing information about hotlines and counseling services, and suggesting professional help or 12-step programs for codependency, can be beneficial.

Resources:

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

  • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

  • The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

  • Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

  • Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA): 1-888-444-2359

Seeking help is a brave and crucial step toward recovery. Encourage those in need to reach out to these resources, and remember to prioritize your own mental health. Distancing yourself from negative influences is sometimes necessary to protect your well-being. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people and organizations ready to support you through difficult times.

If you have any thoughts or experiences to share, please leave a comment below. Your input is invaluable and helps create a supportive community. If you feel inclined to contribute to this ongoing effort, your support is greatly appreciated.

Additionally, if you'd like to show some love and support in other ways, feel free to do so—every little bit helps in continuing this important work. Thank you!


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